One of my April goals is to become more social. Willie and I have spent a good chunk of our time hanging out with out of town friends but we did want to have more of social life in at home. The older we get the harder it is to make friends though. I wish we could return to the days when sharing a crayon or playing on the playground instantly rendered a best friend or playmate. Adults just don’t make friends the same way and most of the time it does involve food.
I have my own social hang ups because I did spend time being so closed up. In hindsight, maybe I was a little closed up because I was self conscious about my weight. Now I’m more open and friendly and willing to talk to people but I do have to push past some walls and boundaries. Before I was kind of uncomfortable with myself so I couldn’t be comfortable around others. I’m growing and changing and trying to push past all of those issues. I’m still not comfortable with myself because I have changed quite a bit physically/emotionally/mentally so I’m still trying to find my “new” self.
In my quest to become more social I have noticed food being the centerpiece of it all and now I worry food may be one of the reasons why it will be difficult for us to make friends. We have passed up many invitations or left situations early purely because food is the centerpiece of everything. Do you know how hard it is to sit at a party where everyone is eating and drinking all night long and know you can’t partake in that? It’s not the eating and drinking that make it hard, but when that’s the ONLY thing going on, and then it becomes a MAJOR bummer! Now Willie and I are the kind of people that would hit the dance floor while others were doing their thing or enjoying the other activities. For example, going to the fair isn’t a horrible thing for us anymore because our fair experience isn’t centered on the food. Before we would be looking for curly fries, pork chops on a stick or the favorite fried dessert and now we would spend our money riding the Ferris wheel or playing games. When you’re at a dinner, you’re kind of stuck watching everyone eat food that you can’t have for hours and hours. People always recommend eating before you go and that keeps you from being hungry but it keeps us from being social.
To make friends you have to be around friends. We want people to get to know us as people and not as the people who lost weight and changed their lifestyles. We are very private people and if we are opening ourselves up to you beyond that it’s kind of a big deal. In our pursuit to make friends we do find it difficult because food is always involved. I don’t want to come across as rude or snobbish but food as the main event is a reason for us to exit a situation. Right now it’s just a difficult situation! Right now, I’m trying to break through a wall I never thought about it and I want to succeed. I, we, have met some really great people and most of the people we want to be friends with outside of running or at the gym. It’s just become a little more difficult because of food! I might try getting some people together once a month for a bowling night or something like that; my only fear is that people won’t come because we’re not “in.” Sometimes it hurts being left out when I thought we were making ground though.
