My running group is great. I love being a Strutter as most of you can tell from my race pictures. These people have come into my life and made it so much sunnier. My Monday and Wedesdays have been filled with hanging out with these people until recently and maybe it’s time for a little transparency.
There are a few explanations that I could offer here. Let’s start with the easiest explanation: I was just injured. It’s not that I don’t want to run but I just couldn’t. It hurt. It was painful and it kind of made me sad. Being around a group of people who were out running would dampen my heart even more because I would have tried to run. I wasn’t in the position to run but I would have been out there trying to log miles like the rest of the group. Therefore, I thought it would be best if I kind of just did some other stuff.
People probably thought I stopped showing up because I wasn’t running any races and I had no medals to show off. I’m not that vain but I just wanted to throw it out there. Yes, I love being able to show off my medals at GTS but that is definitely not the reason why I show up. Things were just hurting really bad
I thought maybe I needed a break from running. This thing called running has kind of become my thing. People have stopped asking me how I’m doing and replaced it with, “what’s your next race?” I started to become one and the same with running which is fine with me BUT I really think it was an obstacle in my relationships with people. It hindered my social relationships because like I already mentioned people would ask me things like that first and I was always gone. I’m not really sure if I needed a break from running but I needed to know was I running to run or running because it has become my “thing.”
The crazy thing about being in the media (here, here, here and many more places) the whole world knows about my journey. That kind of puts pressure on the journey a little bit. I’m not the first person to want to run the 50 states (believe me, I know plenty of people doing and re-doing the 50 states thing) but I’m probably one of the few people in the country who has a spotlight on their journey. Sometimes that’s a lot of pressure to keep going, keep saving money, keep collecting states and just to keep running.
Everyone thinks this quest is completely paid for but for the most part I’ve paid every single dime of travel and most entry fees. I have been blessed with a few comp entry fees and some cheaper hotel rooms but those things are few and far between. It’s literally a sacrifice that I am making and I just need to know that I’m doing it for the right reasons because it does take it’s toll on life.
I have been fortunate enough to link up with Action For Healthy Kids/Team Healthy Kids to give some serious meaning to what I’m doing, so that helps out A LOT! But there were a few things I needed to discover on my own.
Last year when I couldn’t run, it was horrible. I was like a drug addict looking for the next high because I was just out of commission. It was horrible. I was moody, I was unhappy and I didn’t feel like myself. I wanted to run all the races and just be out there.
This time around with no running was a little different. What I truly learned was that I just miss running. I miss being able to be out there pounding the pavement. Before I missed the races but now I miss the actual activity of running. I’ve had the time to think about it and this may just be what I need to continue on the quest to inspire people to do things people may or may not have told them are impossible. I’m ready to raise some money for Team Healthy Kids and see this great country as long as my legs will let me.
Yesterday, I went to running group and I ran with the actual group. The run went better than I expected. There was a little pain but nothing like what I experienced before. I managed to eek out 4 miles and this morning I walking and able to tell you the tale. I feel like I’m moving in a positive direction with a lot of things and hopefully is the start of some really great things.