Don’t let a one-upper steal your shine

Happy Monday!  I hope everyone is starting off their week off right.  Monday is a time to start anew and set new goals.  This is your moment, don’t waste it.

Today I wanted to talk to you about the one-upper.  I don’t know how to exactly phrase this to you so I’m hoping you will understand. Don’t let these people get you down.

Beware of the one-uppers in your life.  The people who are always trying to get the last word.  The people who are always trying to do you one better.  Sometimes it seems like those people are just trying to make you feel bad about yourself.  Don’t let them get to you.

There is always that one person who will always try to do one better than you.  If you say you woke up at 5 AM to get your workout done, they’ll say they woke up at 4:30 am.  If you say, you did 15 push-ups, they will say they did 17. If you say you ran 5 miles, then they will quickly point out they ran 6 miles.

Don’t let this behavior get to you.  It’s not about you.  It’s not that you’re less than or not an equal to them.  Sometimes this is just someone who is doing this for themselves…to make themselves feel better. Don’t let this type of behavior bring you down.  And please, be aware if you are doing this to the people in your life.

It doesn’t need to be this way.  Learn to listen, support, and just be present instead of trying to make yourself look greater through someone else’s eyes.

I’m bringing this to you on a Motivation Monday because I want to emphasize that we’re not in a competition in life to see who can work out more, be the best mom, be the most successful, collect the most things, do the most push-ups, eat clean all the time, have the prettiest Instagram photos or anything like that.

The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself.  Don’t worry about anyone else.  I want people to be authentically themselves because then you can set your own path of learning and growing.

We learn and grow from the people that surround ourselves with, but that doesn’t mean we need to be in competition with them.  We should take bits and pieces of knowledge from these people and transform it into something that works for us…never to be a duplicate or better.

Here are some tips on how to deal with the one-upper:

  1.  Don’t fall into the one-up trap.  Recognize what the person is doing and let them have their moment.  If it’s that important for them to upstage you, let them do it in peace without causing a scene. It’s really not worth it to fall down the rabbit hole.
  2. Don’t let me sour your experience.  Know what you’re doing is for you.  Don’t let them ruin your mood or day.  Take it in, release the feelings (sometimes I do this by talking out loud) and let the moment pass.
  3. Don’t buy into the hype.  You know when someone is trying to one-up.  You know when someone is trying to paint a rosy picture when you know it’s not really that way.  Diffuse what is real and what is pretend and don’t worry about the rest.  And if this person is someone who is important to you…
  4. Try having an honest conversation with them to see what’s really going on.  The one-upper might be feeling insecure, unwanted, left behind or something else.  This might be a symptom of a bigger problem.

The realization of whatever we are going through at any point in time still makes us valuable and needed in this world.  I am a firm believer that you don’t need to tear anyone down to build yourself up.  Take this to heart.  Life is hard and as people, we handle things differently, but that doesn’t make any one person better than another.  We’re still going through life, albeit together.

In closing, don’t let someone else tear you down, steal your joy or cause you any worry because they are too busy trying to one-up you instead of supporting you.  Be mindful of how you respond to others.  Most importantly, let’s raise each other up through love, friendship, and just being nice.

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